Are you reclining with a small port and a pipe of the finest tobacco? Do you reject the new fangled inventions of the modern world, and spend your evenings reading ancient script by candlelight to your obedient labrador. Do you, when sea paddling, adorn yourself in full bathing attire, and consider the public display of male bellies and legs an abomination? Do you send a calling card to announce your imminent visit to friends?

If this is so, I am sure you would like to escort a lady to afternoon tea, ensuring of course that you walk on the outside of the footpath should some common oik throw out their slops at an inopportune moment; I would not wish my parasol, that you would have secured from far off lands in your travelling days, to be ruined.

If you are indeed a gentleman, then please introduce yourself through this modern medium, and do not fear it, tis merely a means to an end old chap!

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